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Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Parent-Child Bonding As It Relates to Human Sexuality, Biologically-Driven or Learned?

Alex, I'm not saying that sexual abuse isn't an epidemic in our country and around the world, although the entire premise behind whether the parent-child bond regarding human sexuality is innate or learned is entirely debatable.

There is evidence that I gleaned from a college textbook, in 1983, at Baylor University (Sociology 101, Professor Tillman Rodabough) indicating that, without violence and coercion, children can be taught to become masters in the art of human sexuality from the time they are very young.

These were cross-cultural studies done in Africa and parts of Southeast Asia, in societies that had not yet been polluted by Western values at the time. You know the image, where people living in the remote jungles have it completely right while the Western world is awash in lies, misinformation and insatiable, blinding greed.




Our views on human sexuality, as it pertains to children, are not universal, and there is evidence to suggest that we could have it wrong.

It would not be the first time that a nation or most of the world, for that matter, has lived under the spell of a taboo that proved to be false in its assumptions, in which practically everyone assumed they were morally righteous without questioning the basic premise behind the assumption itself.

The assumption is that sexuality between adults and children is harmful to children due to an innate, biologically-driven parent-child bond that is broken the moment an adult has sex with a child.

Bear in mind that what I’m talking about as having taken place in these remote societies has nothing to do with coercion and violence during the course of sexual activity. So you can take those factors completely out of the equation.

The research from these cross-cultural studies indicated that their children were not coerced, no violence was used, and children were slowly brought into the sexual experience very gradually, in a patient, caring way.

The end result, and I'm simply relating what the textbook stated, was children that had mastered the art of human sexuality at a very young age, who could keep their sexual partners on the edge of orgasm for hours at a time with no indication of adverse effects to their personalities or emotional development as a result.

During my readings, I believe the text stated these studies had not been performed over the course of several generations, so it may be impossible to determine the long-term effects of this type of behavior from the results of these studies.

The question becomes whether or not the parent-child bond is innate or learned. Simply put, are our children learning to become victims when, in fact, there is nothing harmful involved in a pure act of sexual intercourse between an adult and a child? Are we teaching our children to be victims and going about human sexuality in the wrong way?

The pilgrims, along with their ancestors before them, had been demonizing sexuality in ways that we can hardly conceive of today.

We seem to be tightening the screws when, perhaps, we should be, ever-so-gradually, loosening them in ways that would not be harmful to children over the short-term. That's to say if such a thing could be done. Of that I’m not sure, but the point is that we might be headed in the wrong direction.

There is nothing to indicate that human sexuality, in the absence of physical coercion and destructive violence, is harmful in any way to humans and is nothing short of pleasurable.

Quite simply, sexual gratification is supposed to feel good, so then why doesn't it feel good when expressed in a caring way between an adult and a child? If you take the human sexual experience, break it down to its purest state, sexual pleasure should not be harmful in any way, to man, woman, transgender, or child. In it's purest form, what is sex but gratifying in a sexual way?

I’m not saying that I know the answer to this question. A hypothesis is simply an educated guess. What I am saying is that, perhaps, perhaps, the world has been seduced into living under a spell, and we’ve created a taboo surrounding this subject that is deleterious and unnatural.

I first became interested in this topic when I was sentenced to ten years in prison for crimes that I didn’t commit. One of the so-called crimes I was supposed to have committed was the act of placing my penis in the mouth of a four-year-old boy when, in fact, I was teaching him how to shower properly (from top to bottom starting with his scalp, the way I was taught).

I won’t go into the details of my trial and subsequent conviction because it would literally take a book to tell you the whole story, but I have been involved in an international conspiracy spanning two continents, which involves some of the most powerful people in the world and has lasted over three decades.

The point I originally intended to make is that your fixation on sex crimes, as well as most of America’s fixation with them is, to some extent, pre-planned and calculated. The quickest way to destroy the reputation of a good dissident is to accuse them of a sex crime. This is quite literally the worst thing someone can be accused of in America today. We often use this accusation with tremendous harmful effects on the targets in an attempt to discredit those who speak the truth.

And why do we vilify human sexuality, not war? Could it be that we cannot invade, overtake, and subjugate another nation, and take their resources away from them using sex as a weapon? Does it not take extreme levels of violence to accomplish such a task, and could it be that this is why our culture is permeated by violence?

Why is it permissible for a child to watch hundreds of acts of violence during a single flick while exposing a child to peaceful, innocuous acts of sexuality is expressly forbidden? Could the masters have had some sinister intent behind this glaring inconsistency in our culture all along?

Although I am not an expert on the subject, I understand the damage that sex with children causes them within the context of our current Western belief system, which we are imposing on the rest of the world, as I am under no illusions about the harm being done to them.

Increased rates of depression, suicide, alcoholism and abuse are just a few of the disastrous results we see when adults have sex with children. The trauma is very real; it’s undeniable and, if you've ever experienced group therapy sessions at a Daytreatment mental health facility as I have, it is palpable.

The problem is a veritable epidemic with more than three hundred and fifty thousand cases of abuse taking place against children every year between the ages of twelve and nineteen. One in every three girls is abused and one in every five boys is abused.


These numbers only increase the importance we should be giving this matter and, frankly, pretending like we can afford to just put all those who act out their fantasies in prison for decades at a time isn't realistic. We can't afford to do this indefinitely.

The very last thing I want to do is give somebody out there a green light, albeit a symbolic one, to do something of this nature to a child. Anybody considering such an act should know that this type of behavior is unacceptable in the culture we live in and would take generations upon generations to fix if it were determined that such a hypothesis was correct.

While I do have a hypothesis that calls into question the very premise behind our views regarding adult sex with children, that hypothesis does not take away or diminish in any way, shape, or form the very real damage this type of behavior brings to the lives of children and should not be underestimated.

Conceivably, someday we might have a vastly different world one hundred, two hundred or three hundred years from now but, for the time being, the only policy that makes sense is to prevent this activity from happening by using the best legal and educational means at our disposal to protect the lives and dignity of, not only children, but those who carry out these acts as well.

We should, however, look for ways to successfully combine much shorter prison sentences with established treatment methods. The notion that these people are not redeemable is, frankly, a well-orchestrated lie and nauseating to listen to.

We cannot be a society that condemns an entire segment of our population to hell on Earth, as throwaways and rejects, sentencing them to a virtual leper colony, an underworld within our society. Nothing is more unchristian-like than telling an entire segment of our society that the possibility of redemption for their harmful behavior, which is the very cornerstone of Christianity, by the way, somehow, does not apply to them, and only them.

While protecting our children should remain our key objective, we cannot possibly hope to protect their long-term future by creating a society that is barbaric in nature and that doesn't deal with the core issues at hand. We must get to the root of the problem.

It could well be that not having sex when we are young is actually unnatural, as opposed to what we are taught. Why, for instance, does the teenager, become overwhelmed with hormones that tend to drive him/her towards sexual activity at such a young age? Are our bodies sending us a message about what should be considered natural at this age, not unnatural?

We must come up with viable solutions that benefit everyone, even the perpetrators of sometimes heinous and egregious crimes against a helpless child. We must safeguard our society from becoming an absolute den of hypocritical vultures, as the level of civility within any society is best measured by how it treats its prisoners, and we are, by far, one of the worst nations on the planet in our inhumane treatment of our prisoners. I know, I've been on the receiving end of this insanity for well over two decades.

Nobody wins unless we all win. The best way to fix the problem is by looking for solutions that benefit everyone. Decades of life inside one of the most torturous prison systems in the world for an entire segment of the population is not a viable solution to the problem at hand. It solves absolutely nothing and doesn’t even serve as a deterrent as the data has shown.

We must approach our brothers’ problems as our own if we are to create the kind of world that will endure the test of time. All else is futile and can only end in permanent death and destruction of the human race and most, if not all, life on Earth.

I spent a decade in prison, without committing a single crime, and know the nightmare of prison life in detail. I understand the horrors of a criminal justice system that's rife with all manner of sin and iniquity. From many of the prisoners to crooked judges, cops, lawyers and prosecutors, it's rotten to the core.

Thus, I believe I am in a position to speak about this form of injustice in a rather unique way that bridges the gap, the divide between those who’ve committed crimes of this nature and those who haven’t.

With an institution of marriage that sees over 50% of all marriages ending in divorce, perhaps, there might be a different approach to human sexuality which, contrary to the current world view on the subject, may prove beneficial to our overall understanding of sexuality, not to mention the possibility that it could change how we interact with others early in life and revolutionize our experiences with human relationships as well.

Might human beings be better served by getting off to a quicker start in the arena of human sexual experience, as opposed to being taught to go the distance all the way to adulthood before choosing a life partner? Let's face it; we don't look too smart right now.

Parent-child bonding as regards to sex, biologically-driven (innate) or learned? Can we even discuss the subject or is it too taboo to talk about and, therefore, off-limits? Let me know what you think.


(Steven Pinker |  Harvard University  |  Taboos, Political Correctness and Dissent




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