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Monday, September 8, 2014

Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships | The Karpman Triangle | The Empowerment Dynamic

Mother,

The surveillance state you are complicit with has made it so that it has become too much of a burden on me to make any further online purchases for you. Every purchase is turning into a hassle for me. I can't keep giving and getting nothing in return.

Frankly, I cannot and will forget the legal action taken against a college valedictorian by his own mother of all people, not once, but twice. What you seek is an emotional and legal edge over me so that you will perpetually be the one with the upper hand. By convincing the world I’m a domestic abuser, you’ll always have that upper hand and will be able to lay claim to the role of victim for the rest of your life.

As far as I'm concerned, I never want to live with you again until you get help. You will attempt to destroy what's left of my life. When you are very old and weak, then, I may reconsider taking care of you in your old age.

As the owner of this house, you are entitled to return any time you wish, but it will be with serious misgivings on my part. You have tried, repeatedly, to turn what's left of my good name with the public into one of a domestic abuser. Why would any utterly kind and gentle human being want to subject himself to this?

You're a threat to my very survival. I don't want you back and mean it with all of my heart. Your return means certain problems for me.

If you want to prove your dedication as a mother, then get a place of your own or live out on the streets seeing as it was always okay for me to be on the streets. What's good for the goose should be good for the gander. Besides, my health is in shambles.

And don't attempt to make me feel guilty for anything because I won't feel guilty for saving my own life or doing what I have to do to prevent my re-institutionalization. I'm not mentally ill, nor am I a convict in any sense of the word. In the last couple of years, your behavior has devolved into criminal behavior.

My work is invaluable to the human race, and my mission deserves to be carried out without any further intrusions by you or anyone. I'm not unfeeling, but the main thing is that my dignity and my right to be free are never threatened by you or systems of death again. Thirty-three years of suffering is enough.

This isn't about money so don't attempt to buy me with a one-time gift or aid of some kind. I don’t have a price. The price I would pay for letting you back into my life would be permanent and devastating. And furthermore, tell your friends not to create any manufactured crises whereby I will need your financial assistance.

Also, tell your friends not to create any circumstances, whereby, you need my help so that I can play the part of the hero and accept your "glorious" return with open arms. I don't want to be your hero because, sooner or later, all your heroes turn into villains.

This is an ongoing cycle with you, over a lifetime, which I have already addressed in my blog. The world knows about it now, and I don't want to go through any more of these cycles with you. My life has been about permanence and consistency for decades.

You're a menace to my future and the freedoms I cherish, not to mention my happiness. I don't want you back in my life. You do have the legal right to move back here, which you can do any time, but if you want it bad enough, without my blessings, then, the surveillance/police state will have to take me down in order to pave the way for your return in my absence—yet another dirty trick.

Every minute these lies continue, every minute that you work with the world to persecute me without defending my character, my innocence and my perfect mental health is a moment that I consider you to be part of the problem, not the solution.

Why would a college valedictorian want to live with someone that is going to accuse him of plotting to murder them just for having a penis between his legs? Any reasonable human being can see this is playing with fire. You're relationships are unhealthy. To consider your return is ludicrous to begin with given your past behavior.

The triangle with Ernest as the rescuer has now come full circle, and you want me to play the role of rescuer at this point. You want the person you vilified previously (me) to save you and welcome you back with open arms so we can start the process all over again.

But what happens down the road, when a new cycle runs its course, and I become the villain again? It's an endless cycle that I first became aware of back in 1985, but was always too overwhelmed from having to deal with US domestic counterintelligence and other people's lies to address properly.

This is the pattern of your relationships that has repeated itself over the course of your entire life. For me to accept you back is to knowingly consent to my inevitable vilification. You've never experienced an extended long-term relationship with any man that didn't fall under the patterns of this cycle of destructive behavior.

And it's not like I actually do anything wrong. You imagine you're being wronged. The issue, somehow, becomes about me having to take medications so I'll treat you right. In the end, you can't accept being wrong about anything. You have to be right, so when I confront you on your erroneous ways of thought, including your racist tendencies, I become the persecutor. This is a living hell for me because I'm right 99.99% of the time.

I'm a well-rounded individual whose sense of reality is firmly rooted in truth and substance, on par with some of the most highly-regarded thinkers on the planet. Why would I risk my life or face the prospect of going back to prison to live with someone who's going to eventually begin imagining I'm laying butcher knives out on the kitchen counter to kill her with?

This kind of drama is inevitable (any responsible person would advise us not to live together) and would only be a matter of time when the honeymoon phase wears off after a day or two. In fact, you’re capable of initiating a point of contention within the first five minutes of your return.

It's your home, and all I'm saying is that I'm not going to welcome you back. I'm not going to send out a welcome party for you. I'd rather be by myself until something comes along that makes giving up my solitude worth the trouble. 

Do what you want. It's your home, but my freedoms and my life are on the line. I wouldn't be in my right mind if I gave you my blessings. For now, I want to live, and I want to be free (or, at least, partially free as is currently the case). I don't want to be unfairly labeled as a domestic abuser on top of all the other false accusations that have been leveled against me in the past. Besides, I'm too old for all of this.

The only way I would approve of your return is for you to admit that my entry into a mental hospital last December came about as the result of an error in judgment on your part. You must withdraw the claim, uphold my mental health (I'm not the slightest bit mentally ill) and see to it that the legal judgment that was taken against me gets overturned.

Once that legal situation has been reversed, and I'm no longer forced to endure court-ordered chemicals being injected into my body against my will, you will need to seek professional counseling for the destructive ways in which you've carried out your relationships with men all your life.

You need psychotherapy in order to learn how to have a relationship with a man that isn't destructive in nature. I'm speaking only in terms of personal relationships that have nothing to do with those men you've worked for as an employee in the past.

You must first learn to have healthy, mutually-beneficial, productive personal relationships with men before I can ever wholeheartedly (feel good about it) agree to take a chance on living with you again under the same roof.

It's been almost three decades since I've wanted out of this Karpman Drama Triangle, and I would imagine that your other son does, too. The fact that you were severely abused as a child by your father, along with your mother and brothers who enabled him, is not justification for destroying what's left of my life or your other son's life.

And don't play on the general public's sentiments any more by telling them you've let me live here rent-free for almost a year and a half. I've already posted just a few of the ways in which you should actually feel indebted to me. Moving out was an emotional con game from the start, to get the public to take your side. Even if they take your side, as ignorant people generally do, your collective position will never be supported by the facts.

I'm not going to live up to the role, the script I've been given because it ensures my ongoing degradation and abuse by a society that doesn't even know which way is up. I'm exponentially better than that. 

If you feel your life is in immediate danger, call the police.





(The Empowerment Dynamic)

(The Drama Triangle by Steve Karpman with Comments by Patty E. Fleener M.S.W.)

(The Three Faces of Victim, an Overview of the Drama Triangle)

(Lynne Forrest: Victim Consciousness Defined)

(Lynne Forrest: Starting Gate Positions on Victim Triangles)

Lynne Forrest: To Believe is to Feel and Act Accordingly)

(The Damsel in Distress)

(The Schemers | The Blog of Charles Lamadrid)

Thank you,


Charles Lamadrid

AA Degree (Valedictorian) - Paradise Valley Community College - Phoenix, Arizona, USA

(Independent Researcher/Journalist/Scholar, Dissident, Political Activist, Innocent Ex-Prisoner...#45920, Social Critic, Humanist, Teacher...)

Find me on Twitter - @CharlesLamadrid


The Blog of Charles Lamadrid - http://www.charleslamadrid.blogspot.com