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Monday, August 17, 2015

Big Brother's Right To Shape Our Destiny, Sexual Fortunes, Misfortunes, Human Beings As Machines, And An Uncertain Future

Sometimes the human mind understands, at an intellectual level, the unfairness endured by LGBTQ persons all over the world for millennia while the heart fails to keep pace with the brain. This is how you have a person who conscientiously recognizes laws designed to protect minorities and ease their suffering without really applying that same level of open-mindedness to one's personal life in a way that is, both, practical and helpful to persecuted minorities.


The idea isn’t to change anyone’s sexual behavior but rather to change our long held beliefs and attitudes about a sexual behavior that is, at its core, fundamentally harmless when practiced safely just like any other kind of sexual behavior. What is sexual behavior but innocuous sexual activity that should feel pleasurable when practiced conscientiously?


Indeed, embracing a group of people who we have been taught to fear all our lives can be difficult. Prejudice, as Albert Einstein pointed out, is behavior we learn early on in our lives:


“Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by the age of eighteen.”

--Albert Einstein




Since fear is learned, it stands to reason that it can be unlearned. In my case, it took some 30 years to come to terms with the idea that those in the LGBTQ community should be treated as absolute equals. And, admittedly, even today I still struggle with some of the old fears even after having a number of gay experiences over the last 30 years. After you strip away all those biases, you find sexual behavior that harms no one and, therefore, should be looked at as just endless variations on heterosexual sex once we learn to broaden and expand our definition of what is considered socially-acceptable behavior.


I believe that heterosexual sex is the most natural form of sex because, when looking at the biological makeup of the human anatomy, it's clear upon inspection that the sex organs of men and women were made for each other. However, I see no harm in anyone achieving sexual arousal in any manner they see fit as long as it doesn’t hurt another person, and I have no problems giving consenting adults the space they need to practice sex in any way they choose barring coercion, violence or physical injury unless that injury is coincidental to consensual adult sex.


Those who make accusations of wrongdoing bear the burden of proof that a person or society is harmed by a given act or type of behavior. In the absence of such proof, all claims are subsequently rendered invalid, and having experimented with homosexual behavior after a lifetime of commitment to heterosexual values, I can say with conviction that I have experienced no significant emotional trauma as a result of the gay activities I’ve engaged in to date.


I have, however, had to deal with the burden of some minor stigmatization that goes along with openly practicing homosexual behavior in a society that is in the process of making some profound changes in this area. As for my sense of morality, which remains perfectly intact, and I have no qualms about practicing gay sex without feeling judgmental towards myself or others.


When you get right down to it, we’re dealing with people’s fears, long-ingrained feelings and attitudes that strike at the heart of our very being which keep us forever terrified of what might happen if we were to ever consider opening our minds and hearts to the possibility that this behavior is just as acceptable as any other type of sexual behavior.


True creativity is infinite, after all, and our view of human sexuality should be one of endless possibilities rather than trying to stringently reduce sexual behavior to a relative few rather bland activities that would only be considered acceptable by the least adventurous among us.


There is no conspiracy. No one is trying to change your sexual behavior or anyone else's, just your beliefs and attitudes, your minds and hearts about a stratum of the earth’s population that has been savagely oppressed for thousands of years and is in dire need of support from those of us who have been so cavalier about self-righteously professing our own moral purity all this time.


Religion has had much to do with the perpetuation of such attitudes and beliefs over the years. The best way to look at it is to take the example of our concept of a spherical earth. One of the first persons to state that the earth was round was Pythagoras in the 6th century BC. It’s worth noting that this new way of viewing the earth was violently resisted for centuries by, among others, the Catholic Church. It would take humans about another 2,200 years to reach a consensus based on the evidence that the earth was, in fact, round and not flat.


Thus, we're humbly reminded of the fact that change is a process, not an event, a process of discovery that can, at times, move along at a snail’s pace it seems. And, so, it will take time for the world to wake up to the realization that sexual behavior is fundamentally, at its core, harmless and even beneficial, not something to be treated with contempt, vilified and demonized for all kinds of destructive reasons, some of them which are quite insidious in nature.


It’s no one’s place to tell another person engaging in harmless behavior with no direct impact on them that said behavior is wrong or immoral. If that were the case, then, what were laws originally created for? What purpose were they intended to have for us and ancient societies? They simply were, and still are, designed to protect societies from some kind of harmful consequence brought about by the behavior in question.


In the absence of such harm, no law should ever be enacted; that is, no law that is not designed to protect society from harm has a right to exist, for it would be an unjust law if it were. Otherwise, we might all succumb to a system of privileges, completely arbitrary rewards and punishments in which a large part of the population would be able to lord itself over a much smaller and weaker part of the population as we see today in the United States and, especially, in some parts of the world.


Ultimately, this majority is engaging in deeply irrational, harmful and highly destructive behavior that defies all logic and reasononable explanation. For what is any kind of prejudice but irrational behavior? Yet our fears are so ingrained, so deeply rooted and entrenched in our way of thinking that getting rid of them becomes a long, drawn out process of regeneration, growth, death and, ultimately, moral and spiritual renewal, an awakening not unlike finding out that the earth is actually round, not flat as had been previously thought.


Still, we hold on to this notion of heterosexual sex as the only kind of sex that is upright, just and noble in purpose. And the Church, among other institutions, has had a long history of staunchly resisting productive and beneficial change for the betterment of human societies. The goal should be to speed up that process as much as possible for the sake of all those who are still being so savagely beaten, persecuted, and tortured in certain parts of the world for an activity that is supposed to bring us pleasure, not pain, and is even beneficial to one’s emotional and physical wellbeing in so many ways. It’s not that people are evil for being prejudiced, but hardening our hearts when we realize it’s time to support lasting change for the good of humanity is something we should all try to avoid.




Contrary to Murrow’s view, I believe we can eliminate or, at the very least, reduce our prejudices, and recognizing them for what they are is the first step in that process of growth and discovery. I can personally attest to the fact that I was biased growing up and still harbor some old, deeply rooted fears towards those who are more sexually liberated than I am, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve made considerable progress over the last thirty years. Like many kids my age, I played more than a few games of “smear the queer” in my time and understand some of the ways in which our attitudes can be subtly, or not so subtly, passed along from one generation to the next.

While I self-identify as a bisexual male today despite having had only about seven or eight gay experiences during my lifetime (with four or five of them having taken place in the last year and a half), I feel compelled to announce that my homosexual drive is now mostly controlled by those who court-order me to take a drug that isn't helping me and has proven harmful to my health.


During my fifty years of existence, I had never before been in a situation in which controlling my sexual desires wasn't easily manageable until January of last year. That's when the court-ordered treatments began, and the government has the option to renew those treatments on a yearly basis in perpetuity based on nothing more than a whim if they choose to.


I'm alarmed by the fact that during the last year and a half, I’ve been under the influence of a drug that makes resisting homosexual urges in private next to impossible to control without finding a way to release the sexual energy that builds up inside of me. Although I am surveilled night and day inside my residence, being largely out of the public eye offers me a more laid back environment more suitable for sexual expression although I am still being singled out and systematically deprived of my constitutional right to privacy under U.S. law.


For me, there are no precedents for this loss of control over my sexual desires. They have always been easy enough to handle whenever and wherever they occurred, and they never occurred with such intensity before January of 2014. While it’s still easy to control my public behavior, these feelings coming over me in private from time to time require action on my part to resolve because they're so strong. 


They are almost uncontrollable, and as much as I’m in favor of identifying myself as a bisexual male in order to open up my experience to everyone and make my sexual journey truly egalitarian, I have growing concerns about relinquishing control of my sexual desires to those who’ve never proven to have my best interests at heart.


Right now, they're tinkering with my desires and keeping me sexually inactive at the local level, apparently, to frustrate me and appease my mother who has always stood in the way of anything I've ever had going for me in the way of relationships. She never could stand to see me with a woman, so you can imagine how strong her desires are to prevent me from consummating anything with those of the same sex just to spare her pride and maintain a sense of control over me.


If you're going to invade my privacy and strip me of even the most basic right to control my own sexual destiny, at least, make it a fulfilling experience. Don't keep me, here, in permanent limbo just to please someone who never liked sex very much for reasons that go back to childhood abuse by her father. Forcing me to permanently give up my right to mate with whoever I choose is not an equitable solution. I'm now fifty and still patiently waiting after all these years.


Wolves in sheep's clothing shouldn't be allowed to turn anyone's sexual desires on and off like a light. Psychopaths posing as respectable citizens are manipulating my sexual desires with a callous disregard for human rights and human dignity in order to subject me to undesirable outcomes for political purposes. 


This toying around with one's sexual feelings is an egregious breach in ethics and sets a dangerous precedent in my view if the public willingly accepts it by turning a blind eye to it. Isn't it bizarre, pathological—and more than a little bit menacing—how, in the absence of ever being able to entice me to do anything wrong, yet, sending me to prison anyway, they've ended up with control over my sexual feelings?


I am bisexual today. There's no doubt about that, but shouldn't I be the one to decide how my sexuality gets expressed, not them? Regardless of what people may think about me personally, I believe two important questions well worth asking ourselves are where and how to draw the line in determining how far the state should have to right to go when it decides to intrude into our personal lives.



God Loves Uganda (Documentary)


Hunted In Russia (Documentary)